I've been wanting to find a platform to hold my internal thoughts and ideas for a while now; I think its this trait that defines individuality, that getting down to the essence of it, the thought processes and decisions you've made throughout the course of your life shape and define the individual you are to date. Even with the unfortunate yet significant truth that there is no realistic means of capturing the totality of a person with all his or her peculiarities and eccentricities, I think being able to articulate and to some degree materialize your ideas, questions, realizations portray at the very least a broad representation of you as a whole.
This notion of identity is one that I've been questioning for a while. What defines the person I am and how do I package this: my identity, so that I can not just disclose this intangible entity to others but instead use it to better understand who I am fundamentally? It's not just me searching for answers, the Myers-Briggs Test Indicator, other personality tests, archetypes in literature all seek out the same answer but at least at this current moment I perceive identity as an inimitable and indescribable concept, as to label is to over-generalize and to over-generalize means to overlook the hidden gems within the cracks that give the transience of the self so much meaning.
At least at this current time frame I see the chronic workings of the human brain to be what encompasses the self as a whole because sure you can call yourself an "engineer". You can call yourself a "doctor," an "author", or a "business-man". You can give yourself the title of Employee of Company X or President of Company Y but is this all to the person you embody? I think a person is more than the generic description of a few terms, that the actions you take, the words you say hold more substance to the representation of your being, and even that doesn't wholly suffice.
This brings me to my reason for having started a blog with my friend Prateek. To have this privilege to have a tool as powerful as language to bring to life my internal monologue is the closest I think I can get to immortalizing not only the gross summary of my individuality and worldview but also the delicate and subdued changes in my identity over the progression of time. Writing is cathartic but more so a means of leaving behind a physical trace of myself in the short frame of my existence including memoirs of the conversations I've had, the people I've interacted with, the fulfilled and unfulfilled dreams and aspirations I've set for myself. Probably it's narcissistic to presume your own worth is as significant as to necessitate these memorials but then again fuck it, I don't intend to enter and exit life as a machine assembled to follow rules and function for 70-80 years (hopefully) then become utterly obsolete. Creative expression is what separates us from robots, what gives value to our consciousness, and to paraphrase a line Prateek said that resonated with me,
"Blog posts are fascinating not because of the language or the fancy syntax. It's about being able to view a person's growth over time and the introspective nature of this realization process."
So yeah I'm going to blog. The posts may be a few sentences, or a 20-page essay; they may be shitty or they may be extremely formal. Still each one leaves behind a marking of my temperament, my identity in that specific time frame. I was going to implement a social networking app for thoughts but fuck Twitter already exists. But the concept of the feed is pretty disgusting; it's pervasive and throws into people's faces all your content regardless of interest and I think it makes the entire experience all the more impersonal.
I think I'll stick to this medium, I hope you enjoy.